Page 212 - Petelin, Ana, Nejc Šarabon, Boštjan Žvanut, eds. 2017. Zdravje delovno aktivne populacije ▪︎ Health of the Working-Age Population. Proceedings. Koper: Založba Univerze na Primorskem/University of Primorska Press
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avje delovno aktivne populacije | health of the working-age population 210 able and painful loss. The society underestimates the experience in the case of
the death of a newborn or in the case of a miscarriage. It is wrongly perceived
that grieving is irrelevant in such cases and for that reason parents usually sup-
press their feelings and do not talk about their loss or ask for help. Perinatal loss
therefore defies the modern expectations of a healthy outcome of pregnancy
and it was proven to be as important as any other loss of a loved person (Cart-
wright and Read, 2005).
Grieving is a proces where we consciously say goodbye and transform the
experience of a loss and integrate it in our life in a manner that we take with us
what is important and essential and eventually try to move on. However, this is
only possible if we manage to cope with the pain that is present, and we man-
age to process it in the process of grieving (Simonič, 2006).
There are many factors that determine how the grieving person will cope
with the loss of a loved one: individual (gender, age, attachment, home envi-
ronment), situational (cause of death, manner of receiving the news of the loss)
and socio-cultural (accepted form of grief, burial ceremony, stereotypes, taboo
subjects) (Ozbič, 2015); but most certainly strong emotions will always be pres-
ent.
Women and Expressing the Feelings in the Grief Process
In the grieving process that usually lasts up to 24 months (Velikonja, 1999), the
reactions of women are in most cases very intensive and long-lasting (Wing
et al., 2001; Ozbič, 2015). In the stage of shock, experiencing depersonaliza-
tion is more common for the mothers than the fathers. Right after the death
of the child, intensive distress, depression and grief was observed in moth-
ers; and all these states could still be observed long after the loss. Besides, in-
trusive thoughts, preoccupation, longing and the sense of being more vulner-
able and anxious are also very frequent (Wing et al., 2001). Anger is intensive
at the beginning of a grieving process and starts to slowly fade away over the
period of two years (Ozbič, 2015). The feeling of guilt is especially present with
mothers, when the cause of death is unknown. It can be inward - (they blame
themselves) or outward-oriented (they blame the partner, doctors, God or fate).
Searching for causes of death can be realistic (regarding medical conditions
that were not in accordance with the imposed regime) or unrealistic (eating
habits, recreation, sexual intercourse, arguing, thoughts or feelings about the
pregnancy).
When the intensity of sadness and grief is so strong that an individu-
al cannot accept the loss and the grief turns into depression and despair, this
is called pathological grief. However, the clinical diagnosis does not know the
term ‚pathological grief‘, and therefore the ones that are treated by psychiatrist
are diagnosed with depressive episode (Peljhan, 2016). The mentioned states of
women reduce their quality of life as well as the lives of close family members
that are also dealing with the loss in their own way.
the death of a newborn or in the case of a miscarriage. It is wrongly perceived
that grieving is irrelevant in such cases and for that reason parents usually sup-
press their feelings and do not talk about their loss or ask for help. Perinatal loss
therefore defies the modern expectations of a healthy outcome of pregnancy
and it was proven to be as important as any other loss of a loved person (Cart-
wright and Read, 2005).
Grieving is a proces where we consciously say goodbye and transform the
experience of a loss and integrate it in our life in a manner that we take with us
what is important and essential and eventually try to move on. However, this is
only possible if we manage to cope with the pain that is present, and we man-
age to process it in the process of grieving (Simonič, 2006).
There are many factors that determine how the grieving person will cope
with the loss of a loved one: individual (gender, age, attachment, home envi-
ronment), situational (cause of death, manner of receiving the news of the loss)
and socio-cultural (accepted form of grief, burial ceremony, stereotypes, taboo
subjects) (Ozbič, 2015); but most certainly strong emotions will always be pres-
ent.
Women and Expressing the Feelings in the Grief Process
In the grieving process that usually lasts up to 24 months (Velikonja, 1999), the
reactions of women are in most cases very intensive and long-lasting (Wing
et al., 2001; Ozbič, 2015). In the stage of shock, experiencing depersonaliza-
tion is more common for the mothers than the fathers. Right after the death
of the child, intensive distress, depression and grief was observed in moth-
ers; and all these states could still be observed long after the loss. Besides, in-
trusive thoughts, preoccupation, longing and the sense of being more vulner-
able and anxious are also very frequent (Wing et al., 2001). Anger is intensive
at the beginning of a grieving process and starts to slowly fade away over the
period of two years (Ozbič, 2015). The feeling of guilt is especially present with
mothers, when the cause of death is unknown. It can be inward - (they blame
themselves) or outward-oriented (they blame the partner, doctors, God or fate).
Searching for causes of death can be realistic (regarding medical conditions
that were not in accordance with the imposed regime) or unrealistic (eating
habits, recreation, sexual intercourse, arguing, thoughts or feelings about the
pregnancy).
When the intensity of sadness and grief is so strong that an individu-
al cannot accept the loss and the grief turns into depression and despair, this
is called pathological grief. However, the clinical diagnosis does not know the
term ‚pathological grief‘, and therefore the ones that are treated by psychiatrist
are diagnosed with depressive episode (Peljhan, 2016). The mentioned states of
women reduce their quality of life as well as the lives of close family members
that are also dealing with the loss in their own way.
