Page 50 - Petelin, Ana, et al. 2019. Eds. Zdravje otrok in mladostnikov / Health of Children and Adolescents. Proceedings. Koper: University of Primorska Press
P. 50
avje otrok in mladostnikov | health of children and adolescents 48 It is important for children to keep their everyday routine and social net-
work. This should be guided by parents. By doing so, they will easily keep the
feeling of security. For child’s benefit, both parents should stay active in their
parental role and children’s life. That means they should still share responsibil-
ity for the child’s life. However, for that to happen, good communication and
cooperation is necessary. Experts say, that for children’s development ‘… more
important are relationships in the family, than the type of family’ (Andrejč,
2014, p. 33).
Change in parent – child relationship
If parents cannot communicate and cooperate because of their emotional
stress, it can cause an emotional distance between the child and the parent.
‘The most difficult for the child in the process of divorce, are intense and highly
conflicted relationships between the most affectionate people. Research shows
that conflict is a higher risk factor. The single biggest predictor of poor out-
come for children is continuing conflict between the parents’ (Portnoy, 2008
and Andrejč, 2014, p. 33). Despite their intense emotions, parents need to rec-
ognize and satisfy children’s needs, observe their emotions and pay attention to
them. ‘The quality of the parents’ relationship is the most important aspect of
the child’s development…’ (Andrejč, 2018, p. 83). In the process of divorce, the
children are confused, separated, and, in search for identification, they lose se-
curity and they are really vulnerable. In such situations, the children need par-
ents they can rely on and connect with. ‘Parent – child relationship is the basis
of the individual’s personality development, adaptation and performance’ (An-
drejč, 2014, p. 36).
Children are often a reflection of the parental relationship and they ex-
press their distress individually. The institutions start working with the family
because of problematic children, which I believe to be incorrect. A child’s be-
haviour is a response to the family dynamic, which the parents are responsible
for. Parents should find help (together or individual) for competent parenting,
where they would work on their parental role. Only with that will they be able
to give their children a safe space, where they can express their feelings.
Benefit of the child
All the institutions involved in the process of divorce must take care of chil-
dren’s benefit and well-being. The benefit of the child should be a priority also
for the parents. This should motivate them for good communication and coop-
eration. The child, whose parents have divorced as partners, needs parents who
will be more sensible and responsive to their children’s emotions and needs.
The needs of the child are changed after divorce, because they need more an-
swers and confirmation – for example do they still love me, can I love both of
them, how will it be in the future. Children need the confirmation of parental
love and a feeling of security more often.
work. This should be guided by parents. By doing so, they will easily keep the
feeling of security. For child’s benefit, both parents should stay active in their
parental role and children’s life. That means they should still share responsibil-
ity for the child’s life. However, for that to happen, good communication and
cooperation is necessary. Experts say, that for children’s development ‘… more
important are relationships in the family, than the type of family’ (Andrejč,
2014, p. 33).
Change in parent – child relationship
If parents cannot communicate and cooperate because of their emotional
stress, it can cause an emotional distance between the child and the parent.
‘The most difficult for the child in the process of divorce, are intense and highly
conflicted relationships between the most affectionate people. Research shows
that conflict is a higher risk factor. The single biggest predictor of poor out-
come for children is continuing conflict between the parents’ (Portnoy, 2008
and Andrejč, 2014, p. 33). Despite their intense emotions, parents need to rec-
ognize and satisfy children’s needs, observe their emotions and pay attention to
them. ‘The quality of the parents’ relationship is the most important aspect of
the child’s development…’ (Andrejč, 2018, p. 83). In the process of divorce, the
children are confused, separated, and, in search for identification, they lose se-
curity and they are really vulnerable. In such situations, the children need par-
ents they can rely on and connect with. ‘Parent – child relationship is the basis
of the individual’s personality development, adaptation and performance’ (An-
drejč, 2014, p. 36).
Children are often a reflection of the parental relationship and they ex-
press their distress individually. The institutions start working with the family
because of problematic children, which I believe to be incorrect. A child’s be-
haviour is a response to the family dynamic, which the parents are responsible
for. Parents should find help (together or individual) for competent parenting,
where they would work on their parental role. Only with that will they be able
to give their children a safe space, where they can express their feelings.
Benefit of the child
All the institutions involved in the process of divorce must take care of chil-
dren’s benefit and well-being. The benefit of the child should be a priority also
for the parents. This should motivate them for good communication and coop-
eration. The child, whose parents have divorced as partners, needs parents who
will be more sensible and responsive to their children’s emotions and needs.
The needs of the child are changed after divorce, because they need more an-
swers and confirmation – for example do they still love me, can I love both of
them, how will it be in the future. Children need the confirmation of parental
love and a feeling of security more often.
