Page 48 - Petelin, Ana, et al. 2019. Eds. Zdravje otrok in mladostnikov / Health of Children and Adolescents. Proceedings. Koper: University of Primorska Press
P. 48
avje otrok in mladostnikov | health of children and adolescents 46 ilies and their pre-divorce experiences, the effects of which may be even more
important for children’s welfare than the separation as such (Aro, 1988; Huure
et. al., 2006). Divorce rates are increasing, as is the number of children who
have experienced divorce of their parents. Today, high-conflict divorce is a
common phenomenon where the parents cannot cooperate, which affects the
children even more.
Effects of divorce on kids
Various studies revealed that parental divorce is an indicator of such stress in
childhood that its influences persist well into adulthood (Huure et. al., 2006).
Despite differences in research findings about the effects of divorce on chil-
dren, a common agreement exists that divorce has a negative effect on chil-
dren and raises the risk of development of adaptation problems (Amato 2001;
Kelly & Emery 2003; Portnoy, 2008; Kushner, 2009; Lansford, 2009; Coleman
& Glenn, 2010 and Andrejč, 2014). Important protective factors for children
are quality parenting and supportive relationship from their parents (Andre-
jč, 2014).
Change of family life
Already during the partnership, relationship comes to the point where part-
ners are not showing love anymore. However, when partners decide to divorce,
the loss of love becomes a fact. Parents are not partners any more, but only par-
ents. With that, the kids’ ideal image of the family and sense of security are lost.
Primary family form is changed, because the children are now moving from
one parent to another. Because of that, it is important for parents to understand
that they are still parents, even though they ended their partnership. Parents
have to ‘…cope with the painful loss, because they are ending the relationship
which was important for them for one part of their life and they gave their life
energy for it (Ganc, 2015, p. 46)’.
For children, it is burdensome feeling that they are responsible for their
parents’ divorce. That is why it is suggested that both parents explain the chil-
dren what changes will come with the divorce for their family, and that it is
not the children’s fault that parents got divorced. Parents have to talk honest-
ly in the way that children can understand. They have to tell their children that
they still love them, that both of them are still the parents and that both will
take care of the child together. It is important to tell the children where they
will live, how they will interact with the parents, how they will stay in touch,
how they will celebrate special holidays (birthdays, Christmas, etc.) and other
important things for their family, for example where their family dog will live.
That is how parents will relieve the children’s feelings of guilt and provide them
with safety and predictability.
For some children, the divorce is a first big loss it their life, where they
are experiencing the mourning process for the first time. Because of that, they
important for children’s welfare than the separation as such (Aro, 1988; Huure
et. al., 2006). Divorce rates are increasing, as is the number of children who
have experienced divorce of their parents. Today, high-conflict divorce is a
common phenomenon where the parents cannot cooperate, which affects the
children even more.
Effects of divorce on kids
Various studies revealed that parental divorce is an indicator of such stress in
childhood that its influences persist well into adulthood (Huure et. al., 2006).
Despite differences in research findings about the effects of divorce on chil-
dren, a common agreement exists that divorce has a negative effect on chil-
dren and raises the risk of development of adaptation problems (Amato 2001;
Kelly & Emery 2003; Portnoy, 2008; Kushner, 2009; Lansford, 2009; Coleman
& Glenn, 2010 and Andrejč, 2014). Important protective factors for children
are quality parenting and supportive relationship from their parents (Andre-
jč, 2014).
Change of family life
Already during the partnership, relationship comes to the point where part-
ners are not showing love anymore. However, when partners decide to divorce,
the loss of love becomes a fact. Parents are not partners any more, but only par-
ents. With that, the kids’ ideal image of the family and sense of security are lost.
Primary family form is changed, because the children are now moving from
one parent to another. Because of that, it is important for parents to understand
that they are still parents, even though they ended their partnership. Parents
have to ‘…cope with the painful loss, because they are ending the relationship
which was important for them for one part of their life and they gave their life
energy for it (Ganc, 2015, p. 46)’.
For children, it is burdensome feeling that they are responsible for their
parents’ divorce. That is why it is suggested that both parents explain the chil-
dren what changes will come with the divorce for their family, and that it is
not the children’s fault that parents got divorced. Parents have to talk honest-
ly in the way that children can understand. They have to tell their children that
they still love them, that both of them are still the parents and that both will
take care of the child together. It is important to tell the children where they
will live, how they will interact with the parents, how they will stay in touch,
how they will celebrate special holidays (birthdays, Christmas, etc.) and other
important things for their family, for example where their family dog will live.
That is how parents will relieve the children’s feelings of guilt and provide them
with safety and predictability.
For some children, the divorce is a first big loss it their life, where they
are experiencing the mourning process for the first time. Because of that, they
